Let go of stresses, and maximise your family’s summer smiles!
With the summer holiday season approaching, smiles are definitely something you want to lots of in your holiday plans!
You may not know that it takes you an average of 2-3 days before you start to relax on holiday, and for many people, a lot longer. That makes a serious dent into a week away, and wipes out the weekend away. What a waste of your most precious downtime and quality family time together. Plus, for parents, the thought of the summer holidays can bring a feeling of excitement and joy, as well as additional overwhelm and stress to make sure everyone has a good time!
When I look back at summers with my own son when he was young, I realise how much quality time I missed with him for several reasons including;
One of us (or both of us!) were feeling stressed or worried about something, and weren’t fully in moment and maximising our fun time together.
Not having a plan for the day or planned time together (which was great for us some days in our pyjamas, just doing what we wanted, but not for long periods as we both needed some structure and connection time).
Feeling annoyed having to do stuff that we didn’t want to do! (e.g. I wanted to be outdoors, he wanted to be indoors!).
I also know that with everything else you have going on, you don’t have time to think about how to manage all this. The good news is that you don’t need to pack those invisible stresses in the bags and take them with you – you can "let them go before you go" and make the most of your time together.
Here are my top three holiday smile tips -
1) Empower before the event. When you, family members or children have certain stress trigger times or situations – like a fear of flying, don’t like airports, feel claustrophobic in crowds, talk to them (or yourself!) at least a couple of weeks beforehand about it and ask -
o What would help you to feel safe? (As humans, if we don’t feel safe we cannot relax or think clearly)
o What could you do? Encourage them to think of their own support solutions and plan of action. (This is especially important for children, so often we can feel the urge to sort it out for them or fix it in the way we feel it should be fixed!
You may not be able to grant everyone’s wish, however, you will have tried to validate emotions in a calm, preventative way, avoiding having to “support and sort” in the moment which can be more stressful. Plus you also will have empowered them with a plan of action that you are all aware of.
2) Emotional wellness first aid – Let’s be realistic, stressful situations can still happen with people we care about! When they do, take a few seconds before you react. Do something to stay calm and compassionate. These are both contagious like stress but much more enjoyable!
o Connect to your breath. Breathe in calm through your nose and breath out the stress through the mouth in a longer, gentle exhale.
o Imagine you are talking to them from your heart rather than you head and see them as the whole person (including things you love about them), not just their action or reaction – this will add in extra compassion and the heart says kinder words that can get better outcomes!
o If the situation is to do with your child’s behaviour, remember that behind behaviour there is emotion. The angry tantrum or the teary outburst may have fear or worry behind it. So focus on that first rather than the behaviour (which you are not saying is acceptable but you can deal with later). Perhaps something like “I can see that something has made you upset/angry. What can you or I do to help you to feel a bit better?”.
3. Have water to hand and move around (especially if you are on a plane) - You get easily get dehydrated on a plane due to the air system and your body needs water -
o Your brain is 70% water and lack of water causes less cognition and attention, and increases irritability, tiredness and fatigue.
o Your mucosal membranes that form part of your immune system also need plenty of water to optimally trap viruses and bacteria and prevent you from becoming ill.
o Whether you are on a plane or in a car, take time to move around or make stops to stretch your legs. Your lymphatic system transports immune support around your body and remove toxins. It doesn’t have a pump (like your blood system does with the heart) so relies on your movement to keep it pumping. If you don't you're more likely to feel sluggish.
Let it go before you go! – The more stress, worries, and pain you can let go of before you go, the more smiles you will enjoy. I know your time is limited. You may be thinking, when will I ever get time to think about all this?
To help you with this, I'm running a 90-minute Maximise your family’s summer smiles workshop on Monday June 29th @ 7.30pm for £55.
In this small group, online workshop, I'll share with you;
- An emotional wellness first aid kit to instantly calm yourself and your children, anytime, anywhere, driving along the road or in the air!
- Expert tailored support solutions for your family's trigger situations, so you don't have to work them out on your own.
- Resources for you to create a tailored holiday plan within the session, so your family is all ready to enjoy a happier, calmer, fun summer break together.
If you would like more details on this workshop or tailored one to one support for you or your family, please get in touch here or call me on 07966 502611.
I wish you all a wonderful summer full of smiles.
Lou x